


Beca Mitchell's Headphones Don't Work At Hogwarts

by carma19



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 06:11:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16887114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carma19/pseuds/carma19
Summary: Beca Mitchell goes to Hogwarts.





	Beca Mitchell's Headphones Don't Work At Hogwarts

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one-shot... I think. I hope.
> 
> Connect with me @icarli on Tumblr.

Eleven-year-old Beca Mitchell gingerly stepped onto the Hogwarts Express with her bulky headphones secured over her ears. As she’d been forewarned by Professor McGonagall, all of her muggle gadgetry wouldn’t work in their world--the music stopped as soon as she’d run through the brick wall to reach the platform, but she kept her headphones on anyway, not really caring that she got some strange looks from the other students. Her new schoolmates. The other _witches and wizards_. Jeez, she’d learned a whole lot about the Wizarding World since getting that weird green-inked letter earlier in the summer, but nothing really prepared her for boarding that train, surrounded by other almost-teenagers like herself. 

_Magical almost-teenagers_.

Ducking into the nearest empty compartment, she huddled toward the window and took a deep breath. Her dad waved to her from the platform and she waved back, her stomach in knots as the train whistled, preparing for departure. 

Once they left the station, Beca peered through her still open compartment door into the full one across the way. Four older students lounged on the seats, one lying on another’s lap blowing what looked like a magical bubblegum that twisted into different pink shapes, another playing an exploding card game with a boy across the way. A fourth student read a book with his long legs kicked up onto the seat across from him. They all wore school robes with green-and-silver ties. One of the girls sported silver and black piercings all the way up her ear and one through her eyebrow. One of the boys had his sleeves rolled up to reveal a tattoo on his forearm and she could’ve sworn she saw it _move_.

They looked cool. Like… _really_ cool.

“Oh, hey!” A taller boy wearing a nondescript black tie like her own peeked inside her compartment, casting a warm, lopsided grin. “I’m Jesse! I saw you on the platform with a guy who was probably your dad. He kinda looked like a bus driver. Wait…” Jesse flopped down onto the seat across from Beca, still grinning that stupid happy smile at her. “...is your dad the Knight Bus driver?”

Beca slow-blinked at him. “Uh… no? What’s that?” She frowned. There was still so much she had to learn about the Wizarding World, but Professor McGonagall said she’d catch up quickly. “You… really like making yourself comfortable, don’t you?”

Jesse blinked in confusion right back. “Yeah, absolutely. You don’t know what the Knight Bus is?” Realization seemed to kick in half a beat later and he bounced on his seat. “Oh cool, you’re a muggleborn? That’s awesome!” 

Beca cringed and, in her periphery, spotted the crew she’d been sort of watching before glance over at her, half of them wrinkling their nose or eyeing her suspiciously. “Uh, yeah, but if you could like… not say that too loud, that’d be great,” she mumbled.

“Hey, it’s nothing to be ashamed of! Besides, it’s kinda obvious if you wear weird muggle stuff like _that_ \--” He pointed to her headphones, resting around her neck. “What is that, anyway?”

“My headphones? They play music. Well, they _did_ \--I guess they still will once I’m back home or whatever.” 

Beca didn’t think it was possible, but Jesse’s smile grew wider. “You like music? Sweet! I love music. Hogwarts has a choir, you know. And a couple _Magipella_ groups. My older brother’s been in one for years. I can’t wait to audition. You should, too!” 

She cast another glance across the way. The older students snickered. “Uh… I dunno, maybe. I’ll think about it.” 

“Whatcha talkin’ about, fellow firsties?” A blonde with an Australian accent sat down beside Jesse, eyeing them both. “Oh. Oooh. Did I interrupt something? Were you two having one of those cute moments where love interests meet for the first time?”

Beca’s eyes popped wide, color rising in her cheeks. “Um. What?”

Jesse chuckled, thrusting his hand at Amy for a handshake. “Hi, I’m Jesse Swanson!”

“Fat Amy,” she said, shaking his hand before glancing at the girl across from them. “Who are you?”

“Beca,” she said. “So you guys… you have families who went to Hogwarts and stuff?”

“Muggleborn,” Jesse explained to Amy, nodding warmly at Beca. 

“Ah…” Amy wrinkled her nose sympathetically and reached out to pat Beca on the head. “You’ve got a lot of catching up to do but don’t worry, you will get there.” She looked back to Jesse once more. “So you’re a Swanson?”

“Yes indeedy I am,” Jesse said proudly. “Sixth of seven. I’ve got five older brothers. We’re Gryffindor royalty.” He reached up to brush his shoulder off. 

Amy snorted. “Right… that’s like saying you’re the king of the dumbasses.” 

Beca’s brow shot up. “Um, Gryffin--”

“Gryffindor.” Jesse repeated. “You never heard of Gryffindor?”

“Uh.” Beca cleared her throat. “I read some of Hogwarts: A History but kinda got bored reading about the 8 trillion staircases and the fancy ceiling and the portraits who talk and stuff--”

“Hogwarts has four houses,” Amy explained. “Gryffindors think they’re all daring and bold but they’re actually thrill-seeking dumbasses--I hear they light themselves on fire for fun and wind up in the hospital wing on the regular because they think they can do cool tricks on their brooms--”

“Hey!” Jesse’s hand flew to his chest. “We’re not all--”

“Ravenclaws are the blue-and-bronze tied nerds of the school. They hog all the good tables in the library and I even heard they have their own private fancy little library in their common room.”

Beca scrunched up her nose. “Yikes.” 

“Exactly,” Amy agreed. “They get good grades and stuff but booooring, am I right?”

“Hey, they’re not that bad--” Jesse started.

“Then there’s Slytherin,” Amy said. “Slytherin’s the shit. Anyone who’s anyone is in Slytherin.” Amy made sure to say that loud enough to carry across the walkway to the compartment of older Slytherins.

The older Slytherins gave Amy a respectful headnod. 

Amy saluted them back. “See? I’m basically already in. Give me my sexy green scarf now, I’m ready. _Hiss hiss_ , bitches.” 

Jesse laughed. “You know you don’t have control of where you get sorted, right? It’s in your blood. The Sorting Hat will put you in the house where you’re meant to be.”

“Sounds scientific,” Beca mused, her tone dripping in sarcasm.

“It’s magic, Becs.” Jesse beamed as though he was the first one to invent that nickname. 

“What’s the fourth house?” Beca asked Amy. 

“Oh,” Amy said, waving her hand dismissively. “We don’t speak of the Hufflepuffs.” 

Beca snorted. “Hufflepuffs? Are they stoners or something?”

“I wish. They’d be cool if they were,” Amy said with a sigh.

“C’mon, Amy,” Jesse reasoned. “Hufflepuffs aren’t bad. My brothers said they’re really nice and fun and--”

“They’re total weirdos and all they do is hug each other. Like--when they lose at Quidditch, they hug and cry. And when one of them earns points for their house--they hug and laugh. And sometimes they hug just because they feel like it.” 

Beca shuddered. She wasn’t an affectionate person in general, and the thought of hugs from strangers made Beca want to jump out of the window while the train was still in motion.

“Amy’s exaggerating. Also stereotyping,” Jesse said. “Hufflepuffs value friendship and loyalty. They’re actually--”

Amy held up her hand. “Silence, Gryffinboy. A Slytherin is speaking.” 

Jesse rolled his eyes, chuckling at Amy’s antics. 

An older witch pushing what looked like a cart full of candy stopped in front of their compartment, peering in with a smile. “Anything from the trolley, dears?” 

Amy and Jesse both shot to their feet, digging into their pockets for sickles and knuts. 

Beca sat back and watched with amusement, eyes flickering to Slytherins across the way who stood and sorted through the candy on the cart, too. She stole another glance of that awesome magical tattoo and decided then and there she knew where she wanted to be. Where she belonged.

She was a Slytherin. A badass, muggleborn, music-loving Slytherin who’d someday get some cool magical tattoos, too.

*

The Great Hall stood enormous and the sorting ceremony was way more intense than Amy made it sound. First off, she hated that it was so _public_. A single stool stood center stage as Professor McGonagall called them up alphabetically one by one to place the Sorting Hat on their heads. Sometimes, the Hat chose quickly; other times, it took a few seconds, as though the Hat had to think harder for some students than others. That’s what Amy said, anyway.

“Cynthia Rose Adams!” Professor McGonagall motioned for the girl with pink hair to sit atop the stool. She placed the ancient, all-knowing hat atop her head and moments later, it burst out with its verdict.

**“GRYFFINDOR!”**

Jesse cheered extra loud along with the Gryffindor table as Cynthia Rose hopped down to join them.

“Benjamin Applebaum!” Professor McGonagall called out, and a gangly boy with curly brown hair climbed onto the stool. 

**“HUFFLEPUFF!”** The Sorting Hat cried the instant it sat on Benjamin’s head. 

Beca cringed and distinctly heard a ‘loser’ cough from Amy beside her. She bit back a smirk. Jesse clapped respectfully on her other side. 

Once Benjamin sat with the Hufflepuffs (greeted with group _hugs_ in the aisle, Beca noted with horror), Professor McGonagall called her next first year to the stool. 

“Stacie Conrad!” 

A taller girl with beautiful dark hair and her skirt rolled up way more than was likely allowed (definitely more, considering McGonagall’s pointed glare as she placed the hat on her head) sauntered up to the stool. After a few seconds of consideration, the hat bellowed out again.

 **“RAVENCLAW!”**

Huh. That girl didn’t _look_ like a nerd, but Beca supposed looks could be deceiving.

Anxiety churned in Beca’s gut as the last names crept closer to M. 

The Sorting Hat sent a girl named Florencia Fuentes to Ravenclaw, and she immediately cartwheeled across the podium before joining her housemates.

“Patricia Hobart!”

Amy beamed. “I’ll save you a seat, Mitchell,” she said before striding forward and approaching the stool.

Beca cocked her head to the side and mouthed “Patricia?” up at Fat Amy once she was seated.

Fat Amy shrugged. The instant the hat rested atop her head, it made its decision.

**“SLYTHERIN!”**

“Yaaaaas!” Amy pumped her fist into the air and hopped off, swaggering over to the Slytherin table and high-fiving students in green robes.

A few more students were sorted before McGonagall read from her parchment and called her name. “Rebecca Mitchell.” 

Beca forced in a deep breath and exhaled a nervous puff of energy, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear en route to the stage. She kept her eyes downcast as she climbed up onto the stool and waited.

The Sorting Hat didn’t immediately cry out with Slytherin. Instead, it made a noise she hadn’t heard all night. _Hmmmm…._

Beca’s brow furrowed and she looked up, unable to see the hat aside from the underside of its brim. _What?_

_A complicated one, you are, Rebecca Mitchell._

_What the hell is THAT supposed to mean, Sorting Hat??_

_Many traits you possess, many different paths you might take…_

Panic prickled beneath her skin and she blinked out at the crowd to gauge their reaction. It took a beat to realize she could hear the hat… and the hat seemed to hear her… but nobody else seemed to hear them. Or, Jesus, was she hallucinating?? What was going on? 

Beca’s eyes fell on Fat Amy (Patricia?), who offered her an encouraging thumbs up. _Put me in Slytherin,_ Beca silently pleaded. _I want to be in Slytherin with my new friend Fat Amy-Patricia and the cool witches with the earrings and tattoos._

_Slytherin, eh? I’m not so sure Slytherin is the best fit for you, my dear. You could be great elsewhere… so very great…_

Beca felt dozens of pairs of eyes on her in the room because nobody else’s sorting took that long. Her heart thundered in her chest and she closed her eyes, as if her thoughts to be willed into existence. _Please…Hat, please. I’m begging you. Put me in Slytherin._

_Why not Hufflepuff? You’re very loyal, you know. And your heart is as big as any badger’s._

_HUFFLEPUFF? Hell no!_ Beca started full-on sweating. She was about to melt into a sweat puddle on that stool. Or pass out completely. She grimaced, shaking her head and smoothing her skirt over her knees to dry her palms, trying to ignore the faces staring up at her on that stage. _Send me with the Ravenclaw nerds, then! Or the Gryffindor dumbasses who jump off their brooms and light themselves on fire! I can do that, too! I can totally be a dumbass sometimes! Seriously, dude, put me with ANYONE but the huggers!_

_Interesting, interesting. Well, the Sorting Hat does take the wearer’s opinion into account, but in this case, your placement is already foretold…_

The Sorting Hat finally spoke aloud once more. “Better be…”

Beca held her breath, eyes squeezed tight as she gripped the sides of the stool so hard her knuckles went white. She was definitely going to pass out. 

_Slytherin, Slytherin, Slytherin…_ She thought that thought over and over on a loop until the hat finally cast its final judgment.

**“HUFFLEPUFF!”**

“You mother _fucker!_ ” 

The vulgar swear burst from the tiny 11-year-old’s mouth before she could stop it, a collective gasp sounding from the four long tables full of students and the table of professors at her back, all staring at her with eyes wide and mouths agape. 

Professor McGonagall broke the silence. “Five points from Hufflepuff from your entirely inappropriate tongue, Miss Mitchell.” She yanked the Sorting Hat from Beca’s head and motioned down to the Hufflepuff table. “Congratulations. You’ve set a new Hogwarts record for fastest to get points deducted from your house.” 

Another hush fell over the crowd (except for a few snickering Slytherins in the back corner of the Great Hall). The Hufflepuffs didn’t seem to mind that Beca had that reaction, or that she had points taken from their house. _Her_ house. In fact, one of them jumped up and cried out, “We set a new record, hooray!” The Hufflepuffs erupted into excited cheers for her as she shakily climbed off the stool, and cast the bespectacled professor a sheepish nose-wrinkle of apology on her way down to sit among the badgers. She braced herself and cringed as a few of them met her halfway for her first ever Hufflepuff group hug. 

Her body went stiff as a board until they released her, and she hurried to sit down wherever she could. Anything to get the attention off of her.

The Hufflepuff girl she sat next to had wavy red hair, bright blue eyes, and her smile was so big that Beca thought she’d pull her cheek muscles at any second. 

She kind of looked like a serial killer.

A serial killer who threw her arms around Beca from the side before Beca had the chance to bolt. “Welcome to Hufflepuff, Beca!! I’m Chloe and we’re gonna be _fast_ friends!” 

Beca grimaced, awkwardly raising her arm to pat the girl on the back in a weak attempt to return the gesture. Her voice pitched lower as the sorting ceremony continued. “Are you, uh… some sort of Fortune-teller… or Seer, or something?” She pulled back, eyeing Chloe skeptically. She definitely couldn’t see herself ever being friends with someone like Chloe. 

“Oh, totes, Divination is my fave,” Chloe said with a wink, leaning in to whisper with a conspiratorial smirk. “Get excited for tonight, Mitchell. Huffle-initiation Night… we’re gonna have our annual Magical Group Lady Jam Party in the common room.” 

Beca’s mouth fell open, eyes widening with horror. “A _what?_ ”

“Oh!” Chloe’s eyes flickered to Beca’s headphones still hanging loosely around her neck before she took her arm and squeezed. “I totally know what those are, my aunt’s a muggle and she taught me _all_ about muggle bops. Do you like music?? I’m the co-captain of the interhouse all-female Magipella group the Spellas--you should totally audition!” 

“I--” Her brain worked overtime to process the last three minutes of her life: Getting sorted into Hufflepuff. Dropping an f-bomb in front of the entire school. Losing points for her house (and setting a record for it). Getting swarmed by badger hugs. Something about a _lady jam session_ \--and a-- what the fuck is a Magipella group?

“I don’t even sing,” she blurted, overwhelmed tears prickling her eyes. She furiously tried to blink them back while she stared hard at the empty plate in front of her.

Chloe must have sensed her current state because she reached out beneath the table and held her hand. She held her hand and didn’t let go throughout the entire meal.

Weirdly enough, though Beca hated hugs and contact more than anything, and though she could’ve sworn she was going to have a Hufflepanic attack…

Beca calmed down.

For now.


End file.
